I'll Never Apologize

I'll never apologize for writing this blog. I think this blog may freak some people out who don't suffer from chronic pain, but ya know what? I have decided that I do not care. It is important for this message to get out there.

First of all, no one ever apologizes to me, at least not anyone from the medical community. The doctors who didn't believe me 3 years ago never apologized for being wrong. The doctors who don't treat my pain correctly never apologize for the nights I have spent crying. The evil nurse practitioner who gave me the cream that made me flare certainly didn't apologize.

As for the non-medical, regular people who this blog freaks out, one part of me understands. I mean, before IC, did I ever think it was possible to have an entire blog devoted to a bladder? Of course not. But now as someone who suffers from a medical condition that so few people know or care about I feel totally different.

So yes, my blog is about a bladder. If someone has a problem with it, I say: GET OVER IT.

Yes, in this blog I say words like bladder and vagina. These are body parts. Body parts can be injured, inflamed or infected. It is a simple part of life and any mature person should be able to discuss it. If someone is grossed out about reading about vaginas and bladders, maybe that person isn't mature enough to be having sex, watching porn or looking at dirty magazines. It's almost like a double standard in life. When someone brings up a vagina in a sexual way, it's okay, it's not taboo. When you want to talk about a legitimate medical condition, people try to make you feel ashamed. Well, I am not ashamed, not me, not anymore.

When I think about it, I have always been kind of weird. I am like a freak wrapped in a Tiffany's box. I say this because on the outside I look totally normal: I really like hip clothes, getting my nails done and wearing makeup. When it comes to my interests however, I am anything but normal. I watch really strange indie flicks that many people find morbid. I like old music, ghosts and writing odd stories. I have always had an interest in dating men that many people consider too old for me. I have obsessions with 1950s movie stars, Jack Skellington and anything dinosaur related. I have had all of these quirks long before IC. 

So maybe I have always been kind of weird. Maybe this blog is a little weird. But maybe some of us are born to go against the grain. If everyone marched to the same, totally proper beat there would never be inventions, discoveries, new movies, cures etc. 

There is not a lot of control in your life when you have a chronic condition where the symptoms like to come and go at random.  Educating people about the condition and helping other women who feel like they are suffering alone gives me purpose and hope. If 100 people visited this blog and I was able to help just one woman with IC feel like she is not alone, then I am happy. I don't care if the other 99 people are making fun of me for having a blog about a bladder.

So this is my blog. Yes, it is a blog about a bladder. If you don't like it, just don't read it. I have no plans to stop writing it and I will surely never apologize for it.