Dear Doctors, It's Okay to Tell Us That You Don't Know

Just because you can't see our pain, doesn't mean it isn't there

There are plenty of awesome doctors in the world. There are also plenty of doctors who are jerks. When you have an invisible medical condition or conditions, your odds of running into a few jerks along the way are pretty darn good. 

Doctors go through way more schooling than the rest of us, but it does not make them gods. It may make them extra smart or extra dedicated, but they are still just people. Our teachers educate us as children that it is okay not to know everything. They tell us that there is always more to learn and that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Maybe some doctors go through so much schooling that they forget these simple basics.

Dear Doctors (some of you),

Just because you have a medical degree doesn't mean that you know EVERYTHING. No one expects you to. If you don't know what is wrong with us, tell us and refer us to someone else for help. This is all we ask as invisible pain patients.

Unfortunately, this is not what we always get. It hurts us when you tell us "we are making up the pain" just because you can't figure out the puzzle. We cry at night when you call us "drug seekers" because you don't know what is left to prescribe. You insult us when you throw around terms such as "it's all in your head".

This can be hurtful to ANY and ALL people with invisible pain of any kind, but it gets just about ridiculous when you accuse someone of making up the type of pain which goes along with conditions such as IC and Vulvodynia. Trust me, no one wakes up one morning and says "hmmm...I need attention, I think I will go to the doctor and say that my vagina hurts". 

It can be really, really hard for some IC and V patients to come forward. Some of us can get embarrassed by the extremely personal nature of these conditions. Just having the courage to come to your office may have taken us weeks or months. So when you finally see us, if you have never heard of pelvic or bladder pain as severe as ours, please just say so and send us to a specialist. Our health matters more than your ego. We won't judge you for sending us to someone else, we will thank you.

What we will judge you for is making fun of us or making us feel like our pain isn't real. Watch one episode of Medical Mysteries and you will learn that far more bizarre conditions than IC exist.  Don't make us feel like less than we are. We are human and we deserve to be treated as so.

You're human too, so remember that it is okay to tell us that you don't know.