The Mirror of Pain Has Two Faces---And they Both Suck

Can you see your pain?

I am often frustrated by the invisible element of IC. I think about all the times I have been in tears in doctor offices and hospitals in the past with no one believing me that I was in so much pain I could barely walk. I feel like my fight back then would have been easier if there was some physical sign of my pain: redness, a bruise, a cyst---just something or anything to show the doctor I was not making it up.

I think it gets frustrating for a lot of women with IC, Fibro and other similar illnesses.  Many of us are under 50, have beautiful smiles and wear youthful clothes. Some doctors and people look at this and think that we are liars. They think we are too pretty to be in pain. There have been days where I wanted the words "my bladder is one fire" to magically appear across my forehead so I could have an easier day at the doctor office. 

Sometimes I become so obsessed with fighting for the rights of people with invisible illnesses that I forget about the other side of the spectrum. I think I started to forget about all the people out there who have visible illnesses. There was an episode of the Tyra Banks show on the other day featuring young women with rare medical conditions...in this case all visible. There was one woman who lacked certain facial bones, another who due to a muscle hardening condition had one leg shorter than the other and a third who could never get wet without her skin turning red.

I felt so bad for these women that I was in tears. Clearly, when a doctor sees people like this, he or she KNOWS something is wrong. This is not the norm and therefore the doctor wants to find the solution. But even those these people may have an easier time inside the doctor office getting help, I thought about how hard life must be for them outside of the medical world.

Since IC is invisible I have the choice of who to share my illness with. I choose to be an IC poster girl whenever I can because I feel it is part of my calling in life to inform and help others. But I can turn off that button whenever I choose. No matter how much pain I am in I can walk into any restaurant, business or store and no one can tell that I have a medical condition. People with visible conditions have no choice but to represent their illnesses all the time. When a person has something as visually obvious as the conditions I saw on this show, every time he or she leaves the house people stare and ask questions. The women discussed how it effected their everyday routines, dating life, social life, work life etc. They were all brave and lovely women and seemed to be handling it the best they can, but you could tell it was very, very hard to walk in their shoes everyday. 

So while I wish there was an easier way for doctors to see IC from a diagnostic standpoint, I am learning to appreciate the positive parts of its invisibility. If you struggle with your IC life remember that you are still are blessed to have a choice, the choice to tell others about your condition or keep it private. There are many equally painful illnesses where people are not given that choice.

Pain definitely has two faces and during a flare they both suck equally. Wishing all ladies with chronic pain (visible or invisible) a happy and low pain rest of the week. xoxo.