I'm So Sorry...Not.

This is a note to all the haters in the world. All the mean, self-centered people who think bad things can never happen to them. All the uneducated, self-absorbed losers who always think their situations are the worst and have ZERO compassion to what anyone else goes through.

I'm sorry. I am sorry I don't live up to your high standards. I am sorry that I am tired almost all of the time. I am sorry that my version of life doesn't meet your definition of what life should be.

Do you think I really like taking medications all of the time? Do you think I like giving up money that could be spent on fun things to buy these medications? Do you think I like having to cancel on friends b/c I have a really bad flare? Well, I don't. I actually hate it, but I accept it. I accept it because I have no choice. IC has no cure, so I need to find a way to face reality and live with it. 

Just because you see me smiling, laughing or enjoying something doesn't mean that you should suddenly expect me to run the Boston Marathon or be able to work 90 hours a week. My body has limits and I know these limits. I shouldn't have to explain myself to you or anyone else. I am allowed to have "moments", everybody is. I have moments when I laugh at a joke or enjoy a movie or have fun at lunch with a friend. No one can be miserable all the time. When you see me enjoy something it doesn't mean that I am cured. You don't see me when ten minutes or ten hours later I am crying in pain. IC is a mysterious disease which not even doctors can fully comprehend so don't treat yourself like an expert just because you have met me or another IC patient once. 

Life with IC is a painful life. We know how to put smiles on our faces when we have to. We do the tasks we need to take care of family, friends and children so just because you see us doing something doesn't mean that we are not in horrible pain while we are doing it. If you are going to judge an IC patient maybe you should look in the mirror and judge yourself first. Your life is not perfect.

So please, keep your opinions about me and how I should live to yourself. I can assure you that me and every other IC patient out there are doing the best we can to put one foot in front of the other day after day. Some of us can work full-time, some of us can't. Some of us can eat certain foods, some of us can't. Some of us can exercise, some of us can't---the list goes on. But no matter what we are strong and we never stop trying to be the best person we can be for ourselves, our families and our friends.

I am sorry I don't fit into your perfect world. Oh, wait, I'm not.