The Day I Cried Because I DIDN'T Have Chlamydia

Most people would be very happy to have a test come back negative for a STD.  Believe it or not, there was actually a time when I cried when my STD test came back negative.  Yes, a part of me wanted to have an STD.  Why?  Because it would be an answer.  Why?  Because it seemed better than a disease with no name.  Why? Because it would be better than people accusing me of making up my pain.

I would like to share this personal story so that people can see how seriously we need more doctors who are educated on pelvic pain.

I was a typical woman just shy of my 25th birthday when I woke up in excruciating pain.   It was like nothing I had ever felt before.  I could not sit down with out feeling like a sharp needle had been jabbed into my girl zone.  I often had a lot of urinary tract and yeast infections in my teenage years.  No doctor could ever tell me why.  They would just say I was prone to them, give me the medications and send me off on my way.  So when I woke up with this pain, I just assumed that maybe it was a UTI.  The pain was way worse than any UTI that I had before, but there really seemed like there would be no other explanation. 

I went in to see my gyno who thought that I had a yeast infection.  She started me on the cream for that.  I was in pain for several days, the cream was not working.  That's when I got a call from the gyno, my cultures were negative for yeast.  When I told them I was still in pain, I went back in for a urine test.  Since my white blood cell count was high in my urine, they started me on antibiotics.  Three days later, I was still in 10+ pain and I got another call, I also did not have a urinary tract infection.  What the heck??  What else could be causing this pain??  The gyno felt it unnecessary to do a STD test on me as I tested negative at my last regular appointment and had not been with anyone since.  So I asked her what I should do about my pain.   

SHE TOLD ME THAT THE PAIN WAS IN MY HEAD.

I was in shock.  I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, I couldn't walk.  I was in constant pain and couldn't think about anything else.  I was in pain first and a person second.  How dare this woman accuse me of making it up.

Disheartened, I went home defeated.  One night a few days later, I was laying on the floor screaming in the middle of the night.  The pain was no longer 10 on a scale of 10, it was more like a 20.  My family had no clue what to do and took to the ER where they did a battery of tests: pelvic ultra sound, urine test and STD panel.  Even though I had no reason to believe I had an STD, they said it was standard procedure to test for chlamydia in women my age.  When they found nothing on the pelvic ultra sound, they sent me home.  They refused to even give me pain killers because some of the nurses thought I was making it up.  The doctor said I would receive a call in a few days with the results of my chlamydia test.  

I went home more upset than ever.  I felt like I was dying and no one would help me.  How could I live the rest of my life unable to move due to pain?  That's when I started to fantasize about chlamydia and how wonderful it would be to have it.  Maybe my last test was wrong I tried to convince myself.  Maybe I caught it from an ex-boyfriend and no doctor ever realized I had it.  I found myself actually hoping and praying that I had a STD.  I know it sounds crazy now, but at the time, it made sense.  Chlamydia may have a stigma, but it had a name and a cure.  If I really had it, with just one phone call, I could have a name and antibiotics and be cured. 

Two days later, the phone rang and I got my answer.  I did NOT have chlamydia.  

That's when I broke down in tears and cried for an hour.  I felt so stupid, I was crying because I had no STDs.  That is the news that most people like to hear.   I didn't know what to do.  I was in pain and no one believed me.

After spending three months in level 10 pain, completely crippled, I was finally properly diagnosed by a specialist with Vulvodynia and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction.  I started to get treatments that reduced my pain.  The struggle I went through makes me want to share my story.  I never want to meet a young lady who breaks down in tears, wishing for an STD because no one believes her pain.